Jumping in head first.

[micheldied]

That thread was pretty fun to read lol. Many of the guys over there now seem to think there's a single formula for everything a T owner should do.
That forum was great when I was there 4 to 5 years ago, those members are pretty much all gone now.

Nice pickups. P. metallica and M. balfouri are in the top five of the most stunning Ts in the hobby, IMO.

 

[SpiderDad61]

Thx. I think so too. Can't get over the metallicas colors. Balfouri are amazing too with the blue and tan. It was a lil harder to find tho

 

[micheldied]

Thx. I think so too. Can't get over the metallicas colors. Balfouri are amazing too with the blue and tan. It was a lil harder to find tho

Over here it seems the same way; M. balfouri are harder to find. Oddly enough, they're half the price of P. metallica.

 

[Fuzzball79]

Nice picks. I think people slate you in every pet keeping hobby (snakes, birds, fish, even dogs), if you don't start with "beginners" animals. My belief is that you can grow with the animals if you're prepared and committed, which I believe you are.

 

[MassExodus]

Nice picks. I think people slate you in every pet keeping hobby (snakes, birds, fish, even dogs), if you don't start with "beginners" animals. My belief is that you can grow with the animals if you're prepared and committed, which I believe you are.

That's true Fuzzball, but I have to say It's much, much worse in this hobby than any other I've ever seen. I've often wondered if the most critical ones were the type of geniuses that got bitten multiple times when they first started keeping, or the ones you see posting pics and vids with spiders on their faces ..that should turn out well.. Maybe they think everyone is that stupid..I don't know, just a theory.

 

[Fuzzball79]

That's true Fuzzball, but I have to say It's much, much worse in this hobby than any other I've ever seen. I've often wondered if the most critical ones were the type of geniuses that got bitten multiple times when they first started keeping, or the ones you see posting pics and vids with spiders on their faces ..that should turn out well.. Maybe they think everyone is that stupid..I don't know, just a theory.

I don't know, have you ever read snakes or dog forums, lol? I had some Husky owner try to call me irresponsible because I am letting my Husky X off the leash, even in forest areas. I have learned to trust her and she repays me by always coming back to me (eventually, lol, sometimes a squirrel is more tempting).
Anyway, I often think that it's often a case of people jumping on the bandwagon, parroting what they conceive a strong experienced member. Probably because AB is a bigger forum than this one, you get more of those sheep, lol. No one would mind constructive criticism, it's those "OMG, you're gonna die and take your whole family with you!!" or "You're going to get tarantula as pets banned!" type posts that are not contributing.

 

[Thistles]

I think both the thread on AB and this thread are pretty equally disgusting for very different reasons.

AB is not the same place it used to be. There are so many groupies over there who just follow their rock star idols regardless of context. That is unhelpful and leads to the parroting of bad information. I have also noticed a recent tendency to dog pile novices who have the audacity to purchase more "advanced" spiders without working their way up the "ladder." It was not that way a few years ago when I joined. That causes newbies to hesitate to ask for help, which ultimately will lead to dead spiders. There was one recent thread in which members mocked a teenager for being depressed and encouraged suicide. It is NOT a nice place for a lot of newbies. That said, if you don't do stupid stuff and you're willing to read and ask for advice it is an excellent source of information. The classifieds are unparalleled and the community is larger than other T forums of which I am a member.

That thread was not as bad as many, but I can see how OP would feel bullied by the tidal wave of criticism.

That said, he did bring that criticism upon himself. OP, you've been keeping Ts for a very short period of time. This does not necessarily preclude you from being ready to advance to OWs, but as I said in my first post on that thread, you think your stirmi is "fast and aggressive." If a stirmi is a lot for you to handle, I don't think buying an OBT was wise. My judgement is not based on the time you've spent with animals or you not following a prescribed series of steps, but rather by your own admission that a stirmi, which is hardly a speed demon, is "fast and aggressive." I'm glad that you have been asking for advice. The consequences for the spiders would be severe if you had not and do not continue to do so. You still don't have basic tarantula husbandry on lock, so do your animals a favor and keep asking questions even if it exposes you to criticism. You owe them that much.

Let's all bear in mind that these are tarantulas. We're not dealing with hot snakes, large animals or even dogs. These are not lethal creatures. They are small, relatively innocuous critters with the ability to inflict (substantial) pain, but not fatalities. My concern is not for the OP or his children. My fear is that you will, at worst, kill or injure a tarantula. It's also not so fun to be intimidated by a pet, so be sure that you'll enjoy your new "kids."

This thread, as I said initially, is also pretty gross. You're trashing a whole forum based on a the opinions of a few. The people who are decrying your decision aren't even wrong or out of line - they're just not helping persuade you by being nasty about it. Everyone's entitled to an opinion. OP is entitled to "jump in head first." You are just not entitled to receive only positive feedback. If you can't handle the storm, don't do the rain dance.

 

[Kymura]

Hi @Thistles , going to just post my opinion here. No offense meant.

Criticism is one thing, when it goes into what may be construed as personal attacks its natural for individuals to become defensive in return.
I personally, realize that they have seen things go bad and many are concerned, however others seem to think that a little common sense in how they word things is unnecessary. Rather then just giving good advice, expressing their concerns and the reasons for them, they immediately find fault and condemn.
I rarely post there as a large majority seem to be in their little clicks and don't bother with any new folks other then to find fault. On the other hand the forum is brimming full of useful information if you take the time to search for it. I do think there are some amazingly intelligent keepers there with vast knowledge to share, the problem lies in getting to them through the folks who act as if every one who doesn't pay obeisance to them is beneath common courtesy.

 

[SpiderDad61]

Never said I was scared of any t, as well as my stirmi. Simply meant that I understand how dangerous the T's I bought are, and don't just buy them for a cool factor. Just saying, I kno I'm not buying butterflies here. Nothing is too much for me to handle. That being said......
The stupid thread over there is 6 pages and counting. Lol. They are literally typing the same things as stated by others, I guess without reading prior comments.
I kno, I kno. I'm a novice. I get it.
Just doesn't mean I'm gonna make a huge mistake, put lives in danger, and ruin your precious hobby.

 

[Thistles]

I have, on several occasions, called out certain members there for their formulaic and dogmatic approach to tarantula-keeping. I know how it is there. I've been on the receiving end of criticism from members who joined long after I did and know less than I do. Believe me, there are some members I would like to see the back of. I'm not offended by your post in the least.

I was the second one to post after you, OP. I TOLD you to duck. I knew the feces-typhoon was incoming. It's excessive and unhelpful, but certainly not unexpected or even unfair.

Edit: @Kymura

 

[Rockpython]

If course, 90% of posters who replied to my post on the "other forum" called me an idiot who is moving too fast and don't kno what the hell I'm doing. Apparently I'm going to simply allow constant escapes, bet bit all the time, and put my daughters' lives in jeopardy.
Thank god they're there to tell me I'm an a hole because if they didn't, what would I do?

I know there are crossovers from "the other forum" but I like this place better. The "other" one is for big head DBs that want to make themselves seem cool to rookies.

 

[Rockpython]

Yep. Still the same place. At least there were a few decent folks that chimed in though..that assiddreams guy? He wasn't even talking to me and I immediately wanted to punch him in the mouth..I think you're a very mature and calm guy Spiderdad, you kept your cool and had dignity. Mine flew out the window and i proceeded to insult everyone who commented to me, years ago. It was funny, and I was pissed and went too far, but I don't regret it. They needed it. There were some really angry people screaming for moderators before I was done. The sad part is, the worst ones are probably pathetic, lonely people that haven't got anything better to do. Poec54 was in classic old lady form...lmao. The last time I read a post by him he was griping at a girl for calling wolf spiders "wolfies" because it was cutesy and "juvenile". He was commenting to a 14 yr old girl...lol..some of the people in this hobby..

DAYUUUUM! Callin out, Head T god.....

 

[Enn49]

I know there are crossovers from "the other forum" but I like this place better. The "other" one is for big head DBs that want to make themselves seem cool to rookies.

I always said this was the friendly forum

 

[micheldied]

I think both the thread on AB and this thread are pretty equally disgusting for very different reasons.

AB is not the same place it used to be. There are so many groupies over there who just follow their rock star idols regardless of context. That is unhelpful and leads to the parroting of bad information. I have also noticed a recent tendency to dog pile novices who have the audacity to purchase more "advanced" spiders without working their way up the "ladder." It was not that way a few years ago when I joined. That causes newbies to hesitate to ask for help, which ultimately will lead to dead spiders. There was one recent thread in which members mocked a teenager for being depressed and encouraged suicide. It is NOT a nice place for a lot of newbies. That said, if you don't do stupid stuff and you're willing to read and ask for advice it is an excellent source of information. The classifieds are unparalleled and the community is larger than other T forums of which I am a member.

That thread was not as bad as many, but I can see how OP would feel bullied by the tidal wave of criticism.

That said, he did bring that criticism upon himself. OP, you've been keeping Ts for a very short period of time. This does not necessarily preclude you from being ready to advance to OWs, but as I said in my first post on that thread, you think your stirmi is "fast and aggressive." If a stirmi is a lot for you to handle, I don't think buying an OBT was wise. My judgement is not based on the time you've spent with animals or you not following a prescribed series of steps, but rather by your own admission that a stirmi, which is hardly a speed demon, is "fast and aggressive." I'm glad that you have been asking for advice. The consequences for the spiders would be severe if you had not and do not continue to do so. You still don't have basic tarantula husbandry on lock, so do your animals a favor and keep asking questions even if it exposes you to criticism. You owe them that much.

Let's all bear in mind that these are tarantulas. We're not dealing with hot snakes, large animals or even dogs. These are not lethal creatures. They are small, relatively innocuous critters with the ability to inflict (substantial) pain, but not fatalities. My concern is not for the OP or his children. My fear is that you will, at worst, kill or injure a tarantula. It's also not so fun to be intimidated by a pet, so be sure that you'll enjoy your new "kids."

This thread, as I said initially, is also pretty gross. You're trashing a whole forum based on a the opinions of a few. The people who are decrying your decision aren't even wrong or out of line - they're just not helping persuade you by being nasty about it. Everyone's entitled to an opinion. OP is entitled to "jump in head first." You are just not entitled to receive only positive feedback. If you can't handle the storm, don't do the rain dance.

There's nothing wrong with criticism. And you're right, the OP did bring it upon himself. However, it is out of line when people start making personal attacks(and there were many).

That being said, I think your second last paragraph is exactly why I don't like many of the newer people on AB. Everyone acts like these animals are going to kill you(Poec54 sure does) if you get tagged, which IMO is unnecessary fear. Someone going onto a board to ask about an OW T should be given the information he/she needs to learn to deal with the T, not be told that they've made a stupid purchase and that the T is going to run rampant and hurt everything in sight.

 

[Rockpython]

There's nothing wrong with criticism. And you're right, the OP did bring it upon himself. However, it is out of line when people start making personal attacks(and there were many).

That being said, I think your second last paragraph is exactly why I don't like many of the newer people on AB. Everyone acts like these animals are going to kill you(Poec54 sure does) if you get tagged, which IMO is unnecessary fear. Someone going onto a board to ask about an OW T should be given the information he/she needs to learn to deal with the T, not be told that they've made a stupid purchase and that the T is going to run rampant and hurt everything in sight.

Well said, friend

 

[SpiderDad61]

Omg, that "ellenantula" person is a nightmare.
She posted, questioning my decisions and condescendingly my parenting skills because a killer spider may get loose and murder my family. Then she's saying that I have the nerve to tell them when I need keyboard warriors advice on parenting I'll let them know, and somehow its a "red flag" for the hobby.
She is mental, and well.......I'll quit there. Too nice to say what I really want.

 

[khatchet]

Man I would get off ab and never look back. They again just afraid you may be able to give good info on tarantula one day. Over there they seem to really want to put new people down. It is almost like they think there will not be tarantula to go around if there are new people. That is for sure the wrong thinking, the hobby needs to grow. So why is there a need on ab to put new people down instead of help them. Sorry for the rant.

 

[MassExodus]

I think both the thread on AB and this thread are pretty equally disgusting for very different reasons.

AB is not the same place it used to be. There are so many groupies over there who just follow their rock star idols regardless of context. That is unhelpful and leads to the parroting of bad information. I have also noticed a recent tendency to dog pile novices who have the audacity to purchase more "advanced" spiders without working their way up the "ladder." It was not that way a few years ago when I joined. That causes newbies to hesitate to ask for help, which ultimately will lead to dead spiders. There was one recent thread in which members mocked a teenager for being depressed and encouraged suicide. It is NOT a nice place for a lot of newbies. That said, if you don't do stupid stuff and you're willing to read and ask for advice it is an excellent source of information. The classifieds are unparalleled and the community is larger than other T forums of which I am a member.

That thread was not as bad as many, but I can see how OP would feel bullied by the tidal wave of criticism.

That said, he did bring that criticism upon himself. OP, you've been keeping Ts for a very short period of time. This does not necessarily preclude you from being ready to advance to OWs, but as I said in my first post on that thread, you think your stirmi is "fast and aggressive." If a stirmi is a lot for you to handle, I don't think buying an OBT was wise. My judgement is not based on the time you've spent with animals or you not following a prescribed series of steps, but rather by your own admission that a stirmi, which is hardly a speed demon, is "fast and aggressive." I'm glad that you have been asking for advice. The consequences for the spiders would be severe if you had not and do not continue to do so. You still don't have basic tarantula husbandry on lock, so do your animals a favor and keep asking questions even if it exposes you to criticism. You owe them that much.

Let's all bear in mind that these are tarantulas. We're not dealing with hot snakes, large animals or even dogs. These are not lethal creatures. They are small, relatively innocuous critters with the ability to inflict (substantial) pain, but not fatalities. My concern is not for the OP or his children. My fear is that you will, at worst, kill or injure a tarantula. It's also not so fun to be intimidated by a pet, so be sure that you'll enjoy your new "kids."

This thread, as I said initially, is also pretty gross. You're trashing a whole forum based on a the opinions of a few. The people who are decrying your decision aren't even wrong or out of line - they're just not helping persuade you by being nasty about it. Everyone's entitled to an opinion. OP is entitled to "jump in head first." You are just not entitled to receive only positive feedback. If you can't handle the storm, don't do the rain dance.

One question, how did Spiderdad saying his stirmi is fast and aggressive equal him thinking it was a lot to handle? I have big terrestrials that are fast and aggressive, not as fast as one of my Poecis, but faster than their looks would imply. If an 8 1/2 inch fat, powerfed female can dart across her enclosure and slap my hand before I pull away, it's a fairly fast animal. Spiderdad bought a defensive stirmi and made a comment about it's attitude, and here comes the judgement...not much different than most I see over there. I'm not impressed with your moral high ground speech. This thread was nothing like an AB thread, so do us all a favor and don't make that kind of generalization. The people who regularly comment on this forum are all decent, much more decent than me, anyway, and a whole lot better people then the experts in spider husbandry that dwell in that sinkhole. Thanks for the talking down to, mom, but take that high and mighty attitude back to AB. Everyone else here enjoyed it, and had a good laugh.

 

[MassExodus]

DAYUUUUM! Callin out, Head T god.....

Lol, if I said that over there, toadies would come hopping out and try to mug me.

 

[Thistles]

One question, how did Spiderdad saying his stirmi is fast and aggressive equal him thinking it was a lot to handle? I have big terrestrials that are fast and aggressive, not as fast as one of my Poecis, but faster than their looks would imply. If an 8 1/2 inch fat, powerfed female can dart across her enclosure and slap my hand before I pull away, it's a fairly fast animal. Spiderdad bought a defensive stirmi and made a comment about it's attitude, and here comes the judgement...not much different than most I see over there. I'm not impressed with your moral high ground speech. This thread was nothing like an AB thread, so do us all a favor and don't make that kind of generalization. The people who regularly comment on this forum are all decent, much more decent than me, anyway, and a whole lot better people then the experts in spider husbandry that dwell in that sinkhole. Thanks for the talking down to, mom, but take that high and mighty attitude back to AB. Everyone else here enjoyed it, and had a good laugh.

A stirmi isn't fast. If he thinks that is fast, he isn't a good judge of tarantula speed. I'm not going to pick apart a beginner's posts for every little mistake. He's made a lot, but in the past two months he has also grown a lot as a hobbyist. I have seen all of his posts on AB, and seen him get torn down for mistakes and sometimes even for things that weren't mistakes. For the record OP, I liked your CD case lid. Like I said, I'm well aware of the dogmatism on AB. I think it is destructive and detrimental to the hobby. I have also praised the OP for asking for advice and accepting it in several instances. Again, this will only benefit his spiders. We all start out as beginners, so there is no disdain coming from me.

I went out of my way to differentiate between this thread and the AB thread. I will say that based on your recent posts (I've not been here long) you in particular are just as judgmental as the people on AB. Reread what you just wrote and tell me that you didn't just generalize. You just generalized the people here, ("better people" than AB posters) AB and me. I have not generalized. I did the opposite when I drew distinctions between what I find pathetic about both threads. If you want to criticize me, go ahead. I'm not perfect. Just use the right words and not their opposites.

Since you missed it the first time, let me elucidate: I don't like that OP got a (imo, deserved but excessive) heaping helping of criticism on AB. I also don't like that instead of swallowing the bitter pill he invited, he ran over to a separate forum to complain about the mean ole meanies that told him he made a mistake. An adult should be able to either defend his choices or accept correction. It is not a mature action to go whip up a bunch of defenders on another forum and invite them to storm the gates on his behalf. He is not responsible for the actions of other posters, but I don't like the whole "white knight" dynamic, here or elsewhere. I did not call him out on AB. I'm not a bandwagon kinda gal. I have taken it upon myself to bring some balance here, since only one side has been presented.

Let me just get you to clarify here, btw. You don't like that AB judges people and chases them off, so you tell me to go "back to AB." Hmmm...

Grats on the spiders, OP. They're some of my favorites. I trust that you will continue to solicit advice and input and ask for help when needed. Please be responsible and don't allow a bad experience to shame you into hiding.