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Grumpy old man rant.....

Oursapoil

Oursapoil

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Ok, call me grumpy but I find it tiring to see so many entitled "New Members" joining the forum everyday.
  1. Not bothering to introduce themselves or even to try to see how the forum works.
  2. Making demands as if they were owed assistance and answers.
  3. Many not having the slightest clue of what a T is before buying one.
  4. Not thanking or even acknowledging the people trying to help or their answers.
  5. Many leaving as fast as they came in.
It is just draining to see the very same things, day after day without much improvements regardless of the admins efforts to make this a better place.
I am also fully aware that most of the time we are not trying to help a completely rude person/stranger but rather to try to save or improve the quality of life of Ts who never had a say on where and who they ended up with but can we take a break from the jerks?
Of course we do not all have to be friends and love each others but we are coming here because of our shared love of the 8 legged critters, to share experiences and support each others.
It is not my place to decide but at this point I would feel like new members who do not bother to introduce themselves, be nice or do a minimum research on the forum before asking questions, should just be encouraged to try Arachnoboards instead.... After the good spanking they'll get there they might at last be able to fully appreciate the welcoming and family feeling we get to enjoy on this forum.

My two cents :)

1641914542791.png
 
Oursapoil

Oursapoil

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octanejunkie said:
Well said. Your passion for the hobby, and this forum is evident, and appreciated, sir.

Would you like me to relocate your finger wagging diatribe to Off Topic Chit Chat for you?
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It is up to you good Sir although I feel this thread is really on topic and tarantula related as people do not join the forum to ask if their dogs need to be put in an ICU :p
 
Vermis

Vermis

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We live in the age of Tiktok. Treating the place like quora.com is unfortunate, but not surprising.

Oursapoil said:
It is not my place to decide but at this point I would feel like new members who do not bother to introduce themselves, be nice or do a minimum research on the forum before asking questions, should just be encouraged to try Arachnoboards instead....
Click to expand...

I don't know which side that's most cruel towards.
 
Oursapoil

Oursapoil

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Enn49 said:
@Oursapoil While I agree with what you say you need to remember that many people who are newcomers to Ts are also newcomers to forums so a little patience can be helpful. Don't forget we all had to start somewhere.
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We were all there one day as well indeed, at least almost all of us as I can't recall if there were any T forum back when I started, considering that the few hours I had left on my AOL CD were not enough to wait for each search page to load (hence the grumpy old man...). This said, I believe the first posts from a new comer say more about his/her character and upbringing than how long they had Ts or how familiar they are with a forum platform.....
If they do not behave like this on Tinder because it wouldn't get them any love, they shouldn't behave like this on the forum ;)
I will continue to be nice and help where my limited expertise could be useful but will stop making an effort towards people not making the slightest one. Now as I deal with a 10 years old on a daily base, I would totally accept this behavior from any child and would go out of my way for them but grown ups are not longer getting a pass :p
 
E

Egon

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I'm not young, and I'm not old. I straddle the digital divide -- grew up without it and was a young adult in its boom, so I adapted decently to it.

There are always going to be people who don't know how to use a forum, or, who don't have "good" manners. Sometimes it's because a person is rude, sometimes it's because we're misreading how they are behaving because we are communicating via written word on a website and we simply can't fully convey what we mean/feel.

Sometimes, it's because the "etiquette" for digital communication (web posts, text messages, etc.) is shifting and some of us are not used to it. Very few of my friends who start a text message conversation with me bother to say, "Hey, nice chatting. I have to go now." They just stop responding, which is normal these days and a little annoying. My teenage niece and nephew communicate completely differently from my friends.

Ultimately, we can only control how we respond and behave. And I hope we all continue to choose to engage when we can, because I've seen a lot of other great forums die a swift death when people stopped answering posts, which lead newbies to stop posting threads. I'd hate to see that happen here. This is already one of the least active forums (across different hobbies) I belong to.
 
octanejunkie

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Egon said:
I'm not young, and I'm not old. I straddle the digital divide -- grew up without it and was a young adult in its boom, so I adapted decently to it.

There are always going to be people who don't know how to use a forum, or, who don't have "good" manners. Sometimes it's because a person is rude, sometimes it's because we're misreading how they are behaving because we are communicating via written word on a website and we simply can't fully convey what we mean/feel.

Sometimes, it's because the "etiquette" for digital communication (web posts, text messages, etc.) is shifting and some of us are not used to it. Very few of my friends who start a text message conversation with me bother to say, "Hey, nice chatting. I have to go now." They just stop responding, which is normal these days and a little annoying. My teenage niece and nephew communicate completely differently from my friends.

Ultimately, we can only control how we respond and behave. And I hope we all continue to choose to engage when we can, because I've seen a lot of other great forums die a swift death when people stopped answering posts, which lead newbies to stop posting threads. I'd hate to see that happen here. This is already one of the least active forums (across different hobbies) I belong to.
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Well said, thanks for chiming in.

If everyone were myopic and self-centered there would be no communities, just people. So where is the balance, what is the answer? You have a question, you ask, someone answers, you do nothing to reciprocate - including not responding, thanking or liking - it becomes a zero sum game. C'est la vie.

Regarding forum deaths, it's not just malaise that kills communities, it's natural attrition, politics and participation; or lack thereof; or lack of funds..someone has to pay for this "free" resource, this place is paid for by @Josh and he gets very little in return.

When the majority of the burden falls on the same few repeatedly, it becomes more like work and less like a rewarding and enjoyable hobby that anyone wants share.

How does a community grow from take and take? How should the membership respond? Is blaming society or "this generation" the answer to the age old question of change?

I think the bigger question is, what do you want and who do you need to be to get it? A benevolent? A beggar? A scholar? A thief?
Everyone gets to choose, everyday.
 
Oursapoil

Oursapoil

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Egon said:
I'm not young, and I'm not old. I straddle the digital divide -- grew up without it and was a young adult in its boom, so I adapted decently to it.

There are always going to be people who don't know how to use a forum, or, who don't have "good" manners. Sometimes it's because a person is rude, sometimes it's because we're misreading how they are behaving because we are communicating via written word on a website and we simply can't fully convey what we mean/feel.

Sometimes, it's because the "etiquette" for digital communication (web posts, text messages, etc.) is shifting and some of us are not used to it. Very few of my friends who start a text message conversation with me bother to say, "Hey, nice chatting. I have to go now." They just stop responding, which is normal these days and a little annoying. My teenage niece and nephew communicate completely differently from my friends.

Ultimately, we can only control how we respond and behave. And I hope we all continue to choose to engage when we can, because I've seen a lot of other great forums die a swift death when people stopped answering posts, which lead newbies to stop posting threads. I'd hate to see that happen here. This is already one of the least active forums (across different hobbies) I belong to.
Click to expand...
Very valid points made Egon, thank you.
I am a native French citizen and came on my own to live in NYC when I was 20 years old, originally for a couple of fun months. Fast forward 23 years and I am still here. When I first arrived I would barely speak English and had a very thick Pepe Le Pew accent making it even harder to understand the few words of vocabulary I had. I improved and thrived by asking people to correct me, even when surrounded by people speaking little English as well and with worse accents than mine (I learnt mine was after all charming, at least according to the girl from Brooklyn I've been calling my wife for 18 years now). We are indeed evolving and living in a very different time than what we experienced growing up but I do not want to use it as an excuse for a lack of decency or manners. There is the etiquette that is accepted and there is the one that is preferred and desired. It is fair to say that everything I managed to accomplish in this new life, culture and country, I owe it to the way I present myself and interact with people.
I believe to set the bar low by just expecting people to make the minimum effort here and would not expect anything more from people on the forum than I would from myself or my 10 years old when he is on it. I would also without a doubt trade the quality of the content over the amount of posts or activities on the forum. Foolish thinking I know but maybe, just maybe, some would get a clue when noticing that some users get a lot more interactions and responses than others.
 
Spots

Spots

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Oursapoil said:
Ok, call me grumpy but I find it tiring to see so many entitled "New Members" joining the forum everyday.
  1. Not bothering to introduce themselves or even to try to see how the forum works.
  2. Making demands as if they were owed assistance and answers.
  3. Many not having the slightest clue of what a T is before buying one.
  4. Not thanking or even acknowledging the people trying to help or their answers.
  5. Many leaving as fast as they came in.
It is just draining to see the very same things, day after day without much improvements regardless of the admins efforts to make this a better place.
I am also fully aware that most of the time we are not trying to help a completely rude person/stranger but rather to try to save or improve the quality of life of Ts who never had a say on where and who they ended up with but can we take a break from the jerks?
Of course we do not all have to be friends and love each others but we are coming here because of our shared love of the 8 legged critters, to share experiences and support each others.
It is not my place to decide but at this point I would feel like new members who do not bother to introduce themselves, be nice or do a minimum research on the forum before asking questions, should just be encouraged to try Arachnoboards instead.... After the good spanking they'll get there they might at last be able to fully appreciate the welcoming and family feeling we get to enjoy on this forum.

My two cents :)

View attachment 63056
Click to expand...
I'm guilty for #1, I forgot the intro.
Still learning about the forum.

Sorry about that,...
 
Oursapoil

Oursapoil

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Spots said:
I'm guilty for #1, I forgot the intro.
Still learning about the forum.

Sorry about that,...
Click to expand...
No worries Spots, it is a work in progress. My grumpy old man rant was more geared towards those who do not bother nor care. We've all made mistakes, the goal is to change mistakes we are making into learning opportunities.
Thank you for showing you do care.
 
AndyBunn

AndyBunn

Member
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Telford, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Oursapoil said:
Ok, call me grumpy but I find it tiring to see so many entitled "New Members" joining the forum everyday.
  1. Not bothering to introduce themselves or even to try to see how the forum works.
  2. Making demands as if they were owed assistance and answers.
  3. Many not having the slightest clue of what a T is before buying one.
  4. Not thanking or even acknowledging the people trying to help or their answers.
  5. Many leaving as fast as they came in.
It is just draining to see the very same things, day after day without much improvements regardless of the admins efforts to make this a better place.
I am also fully aware that most of the time we are not trying to help a completely rude person/stranger but rather to try to save or improve the quality of life of Ts who never had a say on where and who they ended up with but can we take a break from the jerks?
Of course we do not all have to be friends and love each others but we are coming here because of our shared love of the 8 legged critters, to share experiences and support each others.
It is not my place to decide but at this point I would feel like new members who do not bother to introduce themselves, be nice or do a minimum research on the forum before asking questions, should just be encouraged to try Arachnoboards instead.... After the good spanking they'll get there they might at last be able to fully appreciate the welcoming and family feeling we get to enjoy on this forum.

My two cents :)



View attachment 63056
Click to expand...
Its great having forums like this and they are a massive credit to the people who contribute to them. Before I began keeping tarantulas I bought a slew of books. I like to read. But I found all but two were pretty useless. It's forums like this that have progressed the hobby and make us all better tarantula keepers. When I first started out I asked all kinds of stupid questions but I have gotten great guidance and I'm grateful. Now I feel confident and able to pass on the knowledge I learnt here to others. That's something the long timers here should be proud of. Thank you.
 

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