Frustrating some times.

[MatthewM1]

Anyone else have a significant other that makes this hobby quite frustrating? I've caught hell over just about every T I own. I'm constantly seeing ads pop up on other forum classifieds of people hatching out T's I want and offering them at great prices but all I can do is look and wish. Only way im supposed to get more T's is if I can trade for them and even then I atleast get a day or 2 of attitude. One of my favorite parts of this hobby is getting to trade/ deal with other hobbyists around the country. Sorry for the rant just feeling quite frustrated at the moment and wanted to vent.

 

[LauraMI]

I feel that way. I wanted 1 Bearded Dragon 3 years ago, an older one in case I just didn't take to reptiles, you know? He found a pair on CL, old ones. They bred, & he got the bug to breed reptiles as he had done a decade earlier. Now, we have over 200 high end Dunners, Leatherbacks, & Witblits, not including eggs.
I love too, it's just a lot & we sacrifice so much feeding them in order to get this business going, which it finally is, but he then has the temerity to tell me to slow-my-roll on T's.
A free Rosie was offered to me, cage and all, & he said no. One, we didn't have gas to drive out, & two, i needed to practice discretion and not get for the sake of getting. He reminded me I have so many cool T's; why muddle it w/ something I never wanted in the first place?
So yes , frustrating, but he was right. He's fair; I picked up a $3 LP at the show we vended at yesterday & he didn't mind a bit. Even surprised me by asking the price of an adult Aphonopelma I pointed out. I didn't even want it; I had gotten one & was content.
Just be respectful of her; love her and take care of her. Bend in situations that really don't matter; in time, she may surprise you. But if she resents the T's, find out if it's really your hobby she dislikes or something that hobby is keeping from her: time, money, space, her hobby...
Sorry for the less-than supportive comments, but I learned/am learning the importance of cooperation w/ my husband, to respect him & his judgment.

 

[Josh]

This is the place to vent! I feel you both.
It's a compromise and it only works if both parties are willing!
You catch more flies with honey than vinegar...

 

[Flud]

It was a struggle to get my fiancé to accept my first T. And even then it wasn't really acceptance, she got a kitten out of the deal. That said, she's definitely getting curious about our cute little T.

 

[MatthewM1]

Oh I absolutely do respect her. And really I am quite lucky how tolerant she is of my hobby. I do currently have 24 T's and its only been 11 months since I got my first group. Her issue is space/speed my collection grows at. I typically try to get 2-4 slings of each spieces I want so with each species I add the total number jumps up quickly. Once I have a bigger critter room she says she doesn't really care how many I get and has given me the go ahead to start breeding at that point. Was just having a particularly frustrated moment the other day ad there have been several sp.'s from the top of my wish list for sale in the AB classifieds quite cheap that I really wanna order lol

 

[LauraMI]

She sounds pretty cool about it, actually. I totally get the need to vent.
On another note, "AP Classifieds"? Haven't heard of that.
Also, 2-4 slings at a time for breeding-futures. Likely siblings, no? Is there a worry about in-breeding & mutations w/ closely related Tarantulas in the same way w/ other animals?

 

[MatthewM1]

I mean the arachnoboards classifieds. The multiples is to increase the probability of females. Males will be shipped out to other breeders as they mature. I have a MM P. regalis making his way around Cali meeting up with a few females last I knew. Males will mature long before their sisters are ready to mate, natures way of preventing inbreeding. But its my understanding that there are no known problems associated with inbreeding T's, although I can imagine that doing so for several generations could cause issues

 

[katiekatelyn]

I feel bad for those of you with partners that aren't completely on-board. When I started dating my boyfriend, I was the one with a tarantula. He never thought of it as a pet, but when Webster died and he saw how upset I was, he took me to get more. And then we got one more, and one more, and pretty soon he was hooked just as much as I was. We're stopping at 13 because we do have 2 snakes, 2 hamsters, three cats, a hermit crab and a Chihuahua. But if we had the room, I'd get 20 more!

 

[adz07]

I am rather lucky too my partner hated spiders but supported me in getting my first because I have always wanted one, she then encouraged me to expand my collection ok so for now I only have 4 but would like some more and she is encouraging me to get them she even helps out with spot cleaning

 

[Denny Dee]

I think there is always a way to hook 'em in. In my case, it was the displays. She loves them. So, I really spent some time making them look great. She is not a fan of what is inside of the enclosures although I think they are sloowwlly starting to grow on her. I started this all up by asking her permission for an emperor at a pet shop and I quietly accepted that as permission for the next 80 or so inverts . She did mention that I am now officially restricted to my spider room and they will not be expanding past that door. And I am running out of room. I believe the key is to appease an unsure spouse or live in is to ensure they NEVER escape the enclosures. For those that handle their inverts, you may want to restrict that to being away from your significant other as that probably will freak them out even more seeing them out in the open. Keep it hidden. Keep it safe. That is the primary reason I lock all of mine and use extreme caution at all times to ensure they don't escape especially during feeding. Don't want to push any issues that would cause grief over the food but I would love to start raising dubias as they are definitely an improvement over crickets but she draws the line on roaches in the house so I will respect her feelings on that and keep dealing with the cricket problems. I think she has been very surprised when the relatives come over and are drawn to the display. Some are freaked out and some are completely fascinated so she is getting more and more comfortable as time goes on with the whole thing.

 

[Flud]

"I think there is always a way to hook 'em in.".... "I started this all up by asking her permission for an emperor at a pet shop and I quietly accepted that as permission for the next 80 or so inverts" .

Solid gold! Ha! This post made my morning. I'm not going to get my hopes up but I'm thinking my lady is going to take to the idea of more Ts. Told her how cheap GBBs can be from private sellers and she was quite intrigued.. Fingers are crossed!!

 

[MUHrie]

I feel bad for those of you with partners that aren't completely on-board. When I started dating my boyfriend, I was the one with a tarantula. He never thought of it as a pet, but when Webster died and he saw how upset I was, he took me to get more. And then we got one more, and one more, and pretty soon he was hooked just as much as I was. We're stopping at 13 because we do have 2 snakes, 2 hamsters, three cats, a hermit crab and a Chihuahua. But if we had the room, I'd get 20 more!

my rule of thumb for dating in general is if you don't love my pets you can leave. lol its harsh but its true.

 

[MUHrie]

Anyone else have a significant other that makes this hobby quite frustrating? I've caught hell over just about every T I own. I'm constantly seeing ads pop up on other forum classifieds of people hatching out T's I want and offering them at great prices but all I can do is look and wish. Only way im supposed to get more T's is if I can trade for them and even then I atleast get a day or 2 of attitude. One of my favorite parts of this hobby is getting to trade/ deal with other hobbyists around the country. Sorry for the rant just feeling quite frustrated at the moment and wanted to vent.

its unfortunate that your significant other isn't on board. i love having my T's! i just started collecting and i have learned so much about them. maybe a sit down with her would be best and ask what is it about your hobby that makes her so upset. as a women, i have had insecurities about boyfriends hobbies in the past. not paying the bills/rent, priorities not taken care of in general. i hope things get better and this advice was helpful.

 

[LauraMI]

I Don't want to push any issues that would cause grief over the food but I would love to start raising dubias as they are definitely an improvement over crickets but she draws the line on roaches in the house so I will respect her feelings on that and keep dealing with the cricket problems. I think she has been very surprised when the relatives come over and are drawn to the display. Some are freaked out and some are completely fascinated so she is getting more and more comfortable as time goes on with the whole thing.

Push the issue. I hated the roaches too, but I hate noisy, stinky, and escape-prone crickets SOOOO much more!! Just keep the lid on the Dubia; my husband neglected it once & I was finding Dubia for days!

 

[2G33K4U]

I am lucky My wife gives me no fuss and is getting more interested in them over time. She knows I love them and they calm me down when I am stressed and to her that is a plus. I got my 5 year old daughter hooke don T's and that is more reason for my wife to not fuss. I found my wife on EHarmony and was up front about my hobbies. MKy wife is awesome and would trade her for anyone. She has her dogs, frogs, lizards and fish.

 

[2G33K4U]

Also explaining to my wife how they can eventually start helping out with paying bills didn't hurt.

 

[katiekatelyn]

Push the issue. I hated the roaches too, but I hate noisy, stinky, and escape-prone crickets SOOOO much more!! Just keep the lid on the Dubia; my husband neglected it once & I was finding Dubia for days!

Speaking of escape-prone, I got some of the big bastards last night but it was too late to do anything so I just kept them in the bag they came in. They chewed a hole in it and about 15 of them escaped. I was screaming and trying to drop Tupperware on them before they jumped at me. My poor neighbors hearing all that. /:

 

[CrystalRose]

I'm pretty lucky. Hubby doesn't really care how many spiders I get. He's used to me and my strange pets. We also have 8 snakes.

 

[Denny Dee]

Push the issue. I hated the roaches too, but I hate noisy, stinky, and escape-prone crickets SOOOO much more!! Just keep the lid on the Dubia; my husband neglected it once & I was finding Dubia for days!

You are braver than I Laura! Going to stay under the radar with crickets. We will not count my very, very small Dubia roach enclosure that just keeps producing. Shhhhhhhhh............

 

[LauraMI]

You are braver than I Laura! Going to stay under the radar with crickets. We will not count my very, very small Dubia roach enclosure that just keeps producing. Shhhhhhhhh............

That's yet another reason to go with roaches: self-propagating food-source. Though they do sound like rain as they race around their enclosure...creepiest thing ever heard in my home.