Difficult choice :(

[Wg25]

I can see both sides of this. If she's affraid then in her mind, since she is completely naive to the world of tarantulas shes bound to ask you to ditch them and it becomes down to the principle of the matter. She doesn't like them is scared and wants you to sacrifice them for her. If she means that much to you you'd do this. Which you have done and is good. It is slightly selfish of her but forgive her for the fact she is naive about them. Now if you compromise with her and show your willing commitment by giving away part of your collection, which she knows is important to you, even give her time to ajust I bet you a million you'll probably find it easier than you think to rebuild your collection. Unfortunately she may have the slight higher ground on this as if she's a phobia shes within her right to ask this of you. This isn't so much of advice for you as you seem pretty level headed about it, but others pushing you towards a pointless argument by you standing your ground will most likely ruin a supposed special time of your life and moving in with the one you love.

I understand....I will sit and think about it.... Just a horrible position to be in. But thanks for sharing Kaz!

 

[Wg25]

I can not tell you witch I would keep. I could not make a chose like that. I can tell you though I got my first A avicularia about 4 years ago. My girl friend hated it, she said I could never get more then 3 and never one over 5 inches. I now have five and as long as we have money she does not care how many I get. Also the next one that she wants me to get is a G. pulchripes. So not only do I think in time you will be able to get more, she will develop some interest in them as well. Even if she never says so her self as my girl friend still says she hates them, but at the same time she tells me a few she wants me to get.

That's awesome... I'm sure that's how it will turn out eventually! Or I hope so atleast! She has been pretty uptight when I try to show her cool things about my T's or videos of them feeding. But After I show her how much I love this hobby I'm sure she will consider making a few more sacrifices! She just needs to get over her fear and realise tarantulas aren't the same as the creepy spiders she sees wandering around our house every now and then! But thanks for the reply tarantulaguy1994! Much appreciated!

 

[tarantulaguy1994]

I was browsing tarantula on line when she started to be ok with them. It was about 3 years ago, so it tolk about a year for her to get to this point. But she saw a few on the sight that she liked and between that and seeing how much I love them she came too. So it may take a bit but I am sure the same will happen for you.

 

[kaz]

haha I know it sucks, if only life was simple. I couldn't imagine having to choose. It is a sucky situation man, I feel for you. My other half doesn't really like them but when he wants something I'm like, well fine if you want and so long as I can buy another spider haha then he can't refuse!!

 

[Rockpython]

You are making me feel bad Enn49. Sorry if I came across as an asshole...not my intentions! I appreciate you telling me how you feel! I need more honest advice like this! Makes me think before making decisions like that...

It happens. When you post on a public forum asking for advice, all of us "arm chair therapists" can't wait to jump in. (at least that's true for me lol)

 

[TabithasMom]

I can see both sides of this. If she's affraid then in her mind, since she is completely naive to the world of tarantulas shes bound to ask you to ditch them and it becomes down to the principle of the matter. She doesn't like them is scared and wants you to sacrifice them for her. If she means that much to you you'd do this. Which you have done and is good. It is slightly selfish of her but forgive her for the fact she is naive about them. Now if you compromise with her and show your willing commitment by giving away part of your collection, which she knows is important to you, even give her time to ajust I bet you a million you'll probably find it easier than you think to rebuild your collection. Unfortunately she may have the slight higher ground on this as if she's a phobia shes within her right to ask this of you. This isn't so much of advice for you as you seem pretty level headed about it, but others pushing you towards a pointless argument by you standing your ground will most likely ruin a supposed special time of your life and moving in with the one you love.

The thing is, Wg25 took on the responsibility of caring for these creatures. They aren't a deck of Pokemon cards (as one member cleverly said), to be discarded like yesterday's news. They are reliant of him to allow them to survive and thrive. Yes, he can find a home, but like all re-homes, you never know their ultimate fate. And after a couple of years she still hasn't accepted his passion for the arachnids, I fear it will never subside. When I bought my very first T, oh so many years ago, my boyfriend at the time was deathly afraid of spiders, but still accepted the reality of living with one in the house. It was a deal breaker, and he knew it. If you love someone, you accept every bit of them. I accepted his gun-lovin' ways, while I was/am petrified of guns. Compromise. It goes a long way.

 

[MassExodus]

Two words. Pumpkin Patch. A few of the members here have a working hypothesis that the Hapolopus sp Columbia lg can pull women into the hobby. We need more data and field testing though...

 

[spidey noob]

@Wg25
i quite a simple thing to decide !
is she has a genuine reasone for u not to keep them,( a fear of them) then u will have to come to a compramise ! (for now)
but if there is NOT a genuine reasone (she just dosent want them in her house) then just get rid of her instead
if she truly loved u she wouldnt put u through this

P.S
a ***** is a ***** but Ts are a mans best friend

 

[Meludox]

@Wg25
i quite a simple thing to decide !
is she has a genuine reasone for u not to keep them,( a fear of them) then u will have to come to a compramise ! (for now)
but if there is NOT a genuine reasone (she just dosent want them in her house) then just get rid of her instead
if she truly loved u she wouldnt put u through this

P.S
a ***** is a ***** but Ts are a mans best friend

You just called his girlfriend a *****..yikes..don't think he's gonna appreciate that too much.

 

[N8tive556]

It happens. When you post on a public forum asking for advice, all of us "arm chair therapists" can't wait to jump in. (at least that's true for me lol)

Mmm... Interesting. Now tell me how this makes you feel Rockpython... Ah, yes, *jots down note* very interesting. Lol Sorry, I thought it was an easy joke

 

[N8tive556]

Two words. Pumpkin Patch. A few of the members here have a working hypothesis that the Hapolopus sp Columbia lg can pull women into the hobby. We need more data and field testing though...

Lol @MassExodus (field tests)

 

[Wg25]

It happens. When you post on a public forum asking for advice, all of us "arm chair therapists" can't wait to jump in. (at least that's true for me lol)

The thing is, Wg25 took on the responsibility of caring for these creatures. They aren't a deck of Pokemon cards (as one member cleverly said), to be discarded like yesterday's news. They are reliant of him to allow them to survive and thrive. Yes, he can find a home, but like all re-homes, you never know their ultimate fate. And after a couple of years she still hasn't accepted his passion for the arachnids, I fear it will never subside. When I bought my very first T, oh so many years ago, my boyfriend at the time was deathly afraid of spiders, but still accepted the reality of living with one in the house. It was a deal breaker, and he knew it. If you love someone, you accept every bit of them. I accepted his gun-lovin' ways, while I was/am petrified of guns. Compromise. It goes a long way.

@Wg25
i quite a simple thing to decide !
is she has a genuine reasone for u not to keep them,( a fear of them) then u will have to come to a compramise ! (for now)
but if there is NOT a genuine reasone (she just dosent want them in her house) then just get rid of her instead
if she truly loved u she wouldnt put u through this

P.S
a ***** is a ***** but Ts are a mans best friend

You just called his girlfriend a *****..yikes..don't think he's gonna appreciate that too much.

Haha thanks to some brutally honest advice I received on this forum the last few days....I'm am no allowed to keep my Ts!!!!!! Haha sooo happy!!! After thinking of all the things the people on this forum told me , I decided to have a one more chat with my girlfriend last night. After arguing for hours (again)... and even showing here some reply's on the forum.She finally accepted my tarantulas!!! I think the thing that she found the coolest...and funniest , is when I showed her a screenshot I took of Enn49 telling me that she actually started the hobby by buying a T for her son.....and now he as 2 and she has 42 hahaha I find that soo awesome! And my girlfriend did to! But thanks again to everyone! You gave someone a different opinion on T's!!!

Things like this make me grit my teeth,
if this is your dream....Then that should matter, your dreams are as important as hers, T's are small, clean and don't make any noise,
If it leads to a fight then shes not willing to compromise, 'letting' you keep 3 isn't compromise, its calling the shots.
Your not her child but her partner. Simply tell her you love her but your keeping your spiders and 'you'll' compromise by letting her pick the closet you keep them in. or offer to get a locking enclosure to keep them all in, maybe a nice used display case or glass doored hutch.
Build your shelfs lighting etc and keep them all.

I can not tell you witch I would keep. I could not make a chose like that. I can tell you though I got my first A avicularia about 4 years ago. My girl friend hated it, she said I could never get more then 3 and never one over 5 inches. I now have five and as long as we have money she does not care how many I get. Also the next one that she wants me to get is a G. pulchripes. So not only do I think in time you will be able to get more, she will develop some interest in them as well. Even if she never says so her self as my girl friend still says she hates them, but at the same time she tells me a few she wants me to get.

I can see both sides of this. If she's affraid then in her mind, since she is completely naive to the world of tarantulas shes bound to ask you to ditch them and it becomes down to the principle of the matter. She doesn't like them is scared and wants you to sacrifice them for her. If she means that much to you you'd do this. Which you have done and is good. It is slightly selfish of her but forgive her for the fact she is naive about them. Now if you compromise with her and show your willing commitment by giving away part of your collection, which she knows is important to you, even give her time to ajust I bet you a million you'll probably find it easier than you think to rebuild your collection. Unfortunately she may have the slight higher ground on this as if she's a phobia shes within her right to ask this of you. This isn't so much of advice for you as you seem pretty level headed about it, but others pushing you towards a pointless argument by you standing your ground will most likely ruin a supposed special time of your life and moving in with the one you love.

Don't feel bad. I'm glad if it made you stop and think though. Life can be made miserable for a person with a domineering partner but as long as she is prepared to give as well as take you'll be ok. Fingers crossed she'll fall in love with Ts like I did and you'll be able to get more soon.

Two words. Pumpkin Patch. A few of the members here have a working hypothesis that the Hapolopus sp Columbia lg can pull women into the hobby. We need more data and field testing though...

Haha thanks to some brutally honest advice I received on this forum the last few days....I'm am now allowed to keep my Ts!!!!!! Haha sooo happy!!! After thinking of all the things the people on this forum told me , I decided to have a one more chat with my girlfriend last night. After arguing for hours (again)... and even showing her some reply's on the forum.She finally accepted my tarantulas!!! I think the thing that she found the coolest...and funniest , is when I showed her a screenshot I took of Enn49 telling me that she actually started the hobby by buying a T for her son.....and now he as 2 and she has 42 hahaha I find that soo awesome! And my girlfriend did to! But thanks again to everyone! You gave someone a different opinion on T's!!!

 

[kaz]

that's awesome news, no more having to decide!!

 

[Enn49]

I'm so pleased for you . I'm sure she'll soon get over her fear off them and be choosing the next one

 

[TabithasMom]

That's great to hear! Your spider babies will thank you as well.

 

[Fuzzball79]

Aww, such a happy ending!
Glad, you two worked it out. My husband always claims he's not into my spiders, but he's constantly watching them and he likes the feisty ones. When my P. Met sling died he talked me into getting a new sling (and I took the liberty to order 2, lol, which kind of backfired because the also sent me a freebie 3rd, oopsie!). He even helped me chose..... he is after another expensive fly fishing rod though, but as they say "Honi soit qui mal y pense".

 

[spidey noob]

its always good to have a happy ending

 

[N8tive556]

Awesome to read the news Wg! Congrats! Now that the war has been won it's time to do something nice for her.


May I interest you in a Hapalopus sp.Columbia Lg. ? Lol jk jk
Congrats man for real

 

[tarantulaguy1994]

I am glad to hear that you can keep them. Before you know it she will have a list of them that's she wants you to get.

 

[Wg25]

Thanks for the support guys! Now I think it's time to spice up my collection and celebrate with a new addition!