HiAny Brachypelma is a good first tarantula. B hamorii / smithi are great but some kick hairs pretty bad. B boehmei / baumgarteni tend to be more on the feisty side.
Grammastola species are great for beginners albeit a little pricey. G pulchra and pulchripes (the beauties) are usually calm and easy to take care of. G rosea can be hit or miss. Some are very chill while others are referred to as "psycho rosies"
The best beginner species are Homoeomma chilesis from what I hear. They are pricey now since Chile has banned exporting them. I am on the lookout right now and will jump at the opportunity if it arises.
Another great starter tarantula is the Tliltocatl (ex Brachypelma) albopilosum. The curly hair! Easy to take care of and a medium growth rate. Generally pretty docile and slings are dirt cheap.
Eupalaestrus campestratus (the pink zebra beauty)
Aphonopelma calchodes (arizona blonde)
I don't live in the US but have heard great things about Jamie's tarantulas and Fear Not tarantulas. Just avoid places like Backwater reptiles and other such wholesalers. Heard about so many bad experiences with them. Kijiji and forum classifieds can be good too.
Males tend to live a much shorter life , but if you dont mind that then the sex won t matter .I’m not really concerned what sex the tarantula is. Should I be?
Will the Grammostola Ella has for sale grow to be 5” or is 2.5“ max
What is the other tarantula forum you speak of?