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Overcoming arachnophobia

mollyelzie

New Member
Messages
1
Location
essex
hello everyone my name is molly. I am extremely scared of spiders to the point I hallucinate about them running all over me in the night and wake up screaming, I have a habit of jumping out of bed and running downstairs until I fully wake up out of my nightmare, sometimes my partner even tells me in the morning I hurt myself while jumping out of bed. so the fear is bad hahaha.

to be honest I think spiders are absolutely amazing and I’ve been watching very long YouTube videos about them trying to expose myself to them, and doing a lot of online research. I am so ashamed of being scared of these beautiful creatures.

I have had a maybe great idea of buying myself a tarantula to get over this fear, for some reason tarantulas scare me less than a normal house spider would, there’s something about the way house spiders look that scare me so much. I’ve never even been near a large spider but I can look at videos and pictures of them with more ease than looking at house spiders.

what is a good beginner tarantula? I fell in love with the Mexican red knee’s and apparently their a good beginner spider, or so I’ve heard. Big black spiders scare me but its cool colours makes it less scary. whatever I’d get, I’d get it as a juvenile. Can anybody recommend anything? I probably would not be handling this spider often or at all, as I know tarantulas are not the type of pets you should be handling. I also considered a jumping spider but the thought of them jumping at me scares me.

or honestly do you recommend that I handle my arachnophobia in another way? I love animals so much, they are my whole life. So I hate being scared of some of them. I want to overcome this fear in any way I can, I’m fed up of it over taking my life. Please help me or give me advice, I also promise that if I did buy a spider theyd live in luxury. I have fish, snails, rabbits dogs and cats and I put their needs before mine always.

Thankyou to anyone who took the time to read this :p
 

Scorp

Member
Messages
34
Location
Canada
They scare you less cause they are fluffy!!! Nervous handler combined with a nervous T never ends good. On the other hand, some one scared to handle it but is willing to provide it a good enclosure to live happily while you watch it would be awsome. I'd suggest a curly hair, there practically free, very docile, and super easy. Or just go find a cute little jumping spider outside, let him live in his environment and make friends with him :D
 

x_raphael_xx

Well-Known Member
Messages
745
Location
Plymouth UK
hello everyone my name is molly. I am extremely scared of spiders to the point I hallucinate about them running all over me in the night and wake up screaming, I have a habit of jumping out of bed and running downstairs until I fully wake up out of my nightmare, sometimes my partner even tells me in the morning I hurt myself while jumping out of bed. so the fear is bad hahaha.

to be honest I think spiders are absolutely amazing and I’ve been watching very long YouTube videos about them trying to expose myself to them, and doing a lot of online research. I am so ashamed of being scared of these beautiful creatures.

I have had a maybe great idea of buying myself a tarantula to get over this fear, for some reason tarantulas scare me less than a normal house spider would, there’s something about the way house spiders look that scare me so much. I’ve never even been near a large spider but I can look at videos and pictures of them with more ease than looking at house spiders.

what is a good beginner tarantula? I fell in love with the Mexican red knee’s and apparently their a good beginner spider, or so I’ve heard. Big black spiders scare me but its cool colours makes it less scary. whatever I’d get, I’d get it as a juvenile. Can anybody recommend anything? I probably would not be handling this spider often or at all, as I know tarantulas are not the type of pets you should be handling. I also considered a jumping spider but the thought of them jumping at me scares me.

or honestly do you recommend that I handle my arachnophobia in another way? I love animals so much, they are my whole life. So I hate being scared of some of them. I want to overcome this fear in any way I can, I’m fed up of it over taking my life. Please help me or give me advice, I also promise that if I did buy a spider theyd live in luxury. I have fish, snails, rabbits dogs and cats and I put their needs before mine always.

Thankyou to anyone who took the time to read this :p
I started by watching youtube vids, feeding & rehousing etc.
Then I surprised my partner by saying I wanted a tarantula. Now I have 21, with 4 more arriving this week :)
Curlys are good, as well as aphonopelma chalcodes (Arizona blondes). Both are generally docile, although of course everything has its exception.

Watching it and caring for it should bring the fear down overtime (it did for me) the fear comes from the unknown.

If you do ever build yourself up to a point where you can and wish to handle, ALWAYS test the temperment of your T (tap its butt gently with a paintbrush or straw to see its reaction, gently walking away is good).
Guide it into a catch cup, then from there into your hand. You may find it will be hesitant to walk onto your hand, they can sense you are a living thing and will be nervous you are a predator.
ALWAYS handle close to a surface, preferably the floor, in case it bolts or falls.
T's get nothing from being handled and they never get used to it or learn its safe, like a cat or dog would. So its a debated topic.

Make sure both you and your T is safe.
 

Enn49

Moderator
Staff member
1,000+ Post Club
3 Year Member
Tarantula Club Member
Messages
10,891
Location
Malton, UK
Hi Molly,
You'd be surprised just how many of us T keepers are recovering arachnophobes. My son wanted a T and I said no for many years but eventually I gave in and was hooked. I just found her so fascinating that I decided to buy myself one and I now have 80.
Any of the Brachypelma are great for a beginner as are the Tliltocatl albopilosus. A good place to start looking is https://www.thespidershop.co.uk/
 

beebhabie

Member
3 Year Member
Messages
19
Location
California
I was on the same boat as you. Always scared, always hated tiny little house spiders but once you make them 100x larger and fluffy they were suddenly adorable to me.

My first was an Aphonopelma Chalcodes and like the commenter above said, I totally recommend them too. Personally, mine is extremely slow moving (even when startled) and gentle and I’ve heard many others say the same. I have never attempted to handle any of my Ts, but I truly believe just observing them and caring for them will make you less fearful. Once you get to know them and become attached like any other pet I think you’ll start wondering why you were ever scared to begin with!
 

x_raphael_xx

Well-Known Member
Messages
745
Location
Plymouth UK
My first was an Aphonopelma Chalcodes and like the commenter above said, I totally recommend them too. Personally, mine is extremely slow moving (even when startled) and gentle and I’ve heard many others say the same.
Just a note to add, slings and juvies I've found will be a bit faster, more inclined to startle.
Just something to think on if thats something that may trigger the arachnophobia. I'd advise getting a bigger juvi or a young/sub adult.
 

WolfSpider

Well-Known Member
1,000+ Post Club
3 Year Member
Messages
1,155
Location
Florida
Just a note to add, slings and juvies I've found will be a bit faster, more inclined to startle.
Just something to think on if thats something that may trigger the arachnophobia. I'd advise getting a bigger juvi or a young/sub adult.
concur. I started out 7 years ago with a subadult A. chalcodes. Her size when I opened the shipping container was intimidating, but I can't think of an easier way to ease into the hobby: slow moving, slow growing, and docile.
 

NorseDad

Active Member
Messages
117
Location
Florida
I was never an arachnophobe myself, but definitely was not a fan of spiders at all. I just went down a rabbit hole on YouTube one day, and the itch to own one of these wonder animals hit me. Two years later, and I have 26 tarantulas and a scorpion.

You'll find so many schools of thought when it comes to peoples opinions on how to pick your first tarantula. There are folks who start with a "beginner" more docile species and there are people who start with the one they like the look of. (My buddy started with a pokie.)

Because you've stated that you have a phobia to work through with exposure, I would recommend you start with a more docile new world species. Brachypelma, Aphonopelma, and Tliltocatl species are what I would look for.

Next, determine what species catches your eye and do a little more research on it. Not all are created equal. Many people recommend Tliltocatl species for example, but I would not recommend a T. vagans for a beginner as they can be a bit more temperamental.

Next, I would determine the life stage you're interested in. These long-lived new worlds take a long time to grow. The A. chalcodes for example, grows glacially slow. I bought my first T (B. boehmei 1/2" sling) and got a freebie A. chalcodes 3/4" sling. After two years, that B. boehmei is about 3" diagonal leg span (DLS). The A. chalcodes is still under 1" DLS. Now there are benefits to getting a slow growing tarantula if you have a phobia in that the time it takes to go from a little jelly bean to a big fluffy spooder allows you to VERY gradually get used to them without feeling overwhelmed by a big spider before you're ready. If you think you can handle it and don't want to wait too long, get a juvenile or sub adult.

I promise you that this is a rewarding hobby. Spiders are just so different from the typical pet, and I personally can't believe I ever felt the way I used to about them. I've gone from killing any insect or spider I saw in my house to handling a scorpion without hesitating. Keeping will change your whole perspective. I hope it helps your fears, and you get a wonderful pet.
 
Messages
40
Location
USA
I used to be terrified of spiders too. Slow desensitization/ exposure over time is what helped me the most. I agree that tarantulas are less scary....they're fluffy and they're cute in my opinion. Some true spiders on the other hand, like pholcids (which are pretty much the most harmless things ever, I know) still freak me out a bit but I can tolerate them now as long as they're not crawling on me. I think that something docile, sweet, and slow moving would be the perfect choice for you to start with. Either Aphonopelma chalcodes or Brachypelma emilia would be great choices for you in my opinion. Those are the most docile tarantulas I have, and if I HAD to handle any of the tarantulas in my collection, it would be one of those two. Grammostolas can be good choices too, but I've found their temperaments to be a bit more variable and some can be skittish especially as juveniles. You're definitely on the right track to overcoming your fear....in fact I have a suspicion that you'll be hooked on you get your first spider! There's a fine line between fear and fascination, and this hobby has taught be that beauty can be found in the most unexpected places, even in things that we initially fear.
 

smallbike

Well-Known Member
3 Year Member
Messages
201
Location
Oakland, CA
They scare you less cause they are fluffy!!! Nervous handler combined with a nervous T never ends good. On the other hand, some one scared to handle it but is willing to provide it a good enclosure to live happily while you watch it would be awsome. I'd suggest a curly hair, there practically free, very docile, and super easy. Or just go find a cute little jumping spider outside, let him live in his environment and make friends with him :D
I second all of this! OP, I’d would wait until your fear has lessened before committing to one as a pet. Jumping spiders truly are the gateway spiders, they’re just so cute with their big eyes, and their curious and bold personalities are very endearing.
 

smallbike

Well-Known Member
3 Year Member
Messages
201
Location
Oakland, CA
Hi! Very cool that you’re working on your fear of spiders :) As someone who struggles with anxiety, I would highly recommend getting into some therapy to work through it before getting one as a pet. It may go very well, but I could see having a nonlinear journey to overcoming your fear, and having a giant spider in your house in those moments would be no good. Plus, a female tarantula can outlive a cat, so it’s definitely a commitment.

Also, no reason to be ashamed of what sounds like a true phobia, especially a fear of something that our brains are hardwired by evolution to respond to negatively (snakes are like this as well). Good luck! We all love spiders here and always welcome former-arachnophobe converts ;)
 

DustyD

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Tarantula Club Member
Messages
1,181
Location
Maine
Welcome!!!
I think you are already making strides in overcoming your fears.

Do research, read up, watch videos. There is a great YouTube channel called Dave's Little Beasties, who is from the UK. He comes across as very knowledgeable and gentle.

Maybe those who have overcome their spider fears can give better advice, but I am thinking start slow. Maybe have pictures of tarantulas and other spiders laying about here and there where you live. And later, what about a plastic tarantula to help you get used to their physical shape?

Oh, and there are some spiders that give me the chills, usually ones with longer legs or stranger looking legs. For some reason most tarantulas don't bother me.
 

MattB78

Member
Messages
41
Location
York, UK
hello everyone my name is molly. I am extremely scared of spiders to the point I hallucinate about them running all over me in the night and wake up screaming, I have a habit of jumping out of bed and running downstairs until I fully wake up out of my nightmare, sometimes my partner even tells me in the morning I hurt myself while jumping out of bed. so the fear is bad hahaha.

to be honest I think spiders are absolutely amazing and I’ve been watching very long YouTube videos about them trying to expose myself to them, and doing a lot of online research. I am so ashamed of being scared of these beautiful creatures.

I have had a maybe great idea of buying myself a tarantula to get over this fear, for some reason tarantulas scare me less than a normal house spider would, there’s something about the way house spiders look that scare me so much. I’ve never even been near a large spider but I can look at videos and pictures of them with more ease than looking at house spiders.

what is a good beginner tarantula? I fell in love with the Mexican red knee’s and apparently their a good beginner spider, or so I’ve heard. Big black spiders scare me but its cool colours makes it less scary. whatever I’d get, I’d get it as a juvenile. Can anybody recommend anything? I probably would not be handling this spider often or at all, as I know tarantulas are not the type of pets you should be handling. I also considered a jumping spider but the thought of them jumping at me scares me.

or honestly do you recommend that I handle my arachnophobia in another way? I love animals so much, they are my whole life. So I hate being scared of some of them. I want to overcome this fear in any way I can, I’m fed up of it over taking my life. Please help me or give me advice, I also promise that if I did buy a spider theyd live in luxury. I have fish, snails, rabbits dogs and cats and I put their needs before mine always.

Thankyou to anyone who took the time to read this :p
Same here! True spiders are very fast and unpredictable. (I lease I think so!) T's are great, depending on species, they are the teddy bears of the spider world.
I started watching You Tube vids and went to a show. Picked up a curly hair sling for £5 and never looked back. This was about 6 months ago, I now have a Curly Hair, A. Geniculata and a Green Bottle Blue. All easy going and stunning to watch. Just hoping I can cope with a 10 inch Brazilian Black and White when she grows up!

Another bonus is that T's don't really want much interaction. Provide food and water and let the T do it's thing. Enjoy.
 

Arachnoclown

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